But even besides that, I get a nice little reminder of how much money I've spent on other things throughout the year. Enter this number: $8,340. That's how much I paid, out of pocket, for my teaching licensure program last year. Talk about a serious punch in the gut. I could cry thinking about it. That $8,340 would be sooo nice to put in our 'we want to build someday' savings account.
Now, I know there are a lot of people out there with school debt/loans/payments that far exceed $8,000, and that I should be fortunate for paying that little, but in all reality, it just makes me frustrated. Frustrated because this is the 3rd time I've been to college, for a different degree, in the last 8 years. Couldn't I get it right the first time for Pete's sake!?!?!? 25 years old and 8 years and 3 degrees later, I feel like I'm just starting out. And that just makes me upset. I feel like I've wasted the past few years, unsure of my future. Ben and I have worked so hard to save and watch our spending since we've been dating, and I feel like all we've been able to show for it is stinkin' papers and school bills.
I'm not downing a college education. I feel like it's a priceless thing to have. Instead, I'm just fussing at myself for essentially not getting it right the first time. We've been scrimping and saving to pay for me to go back to school. I feel like my poor decisions have set us back several years. And I'm just mad at myself.
When it's all said and done, we'll have paid around $12,500 for me to go back to school and get my teaching certificate. That may not be a lot to most people, but to us, that's a huge chunk of change. I let my mind wander and let my faith drift, and think about all of the other things that we could have really used that money for.
I've been in a little bit of a money funk lately. I never imagined that the principle of quitting my job to student teach would be so hard. But after having a husband, a baby, and an established career, I feel lost going back and working as an intern. I feel like I'm shorting my family by spending $12,500 doing something I should have done years ago, before my little family came along. I think about the years I've been working and saving. And then I watch it flush down the toilet as I pay for school and run through my savings. I've been jobless since November, and have been living off of my savings. The same savings I worked so hard building up. Now, just paying for daycare, gas, and groceries, it's disappearing like chocolate peanut butter patty Girl Scout cookies at my house this time of year.
I know this is just a season in my life, and I pray that one day I'll look back on this time and appreciate it. It is teaching me some incredibly valuable lessons about finances, saving, and what matters the most. But for now, it's just been easy to look back and see what I should have done differently. Hindsight is always 20/20.....
Are any of you career-changers? Feel like you're stuck in a financial rut paying for school and/or loans? How do you cope?
Have a blessed Tuesday :)
Its so ironic... I have been in a funk the past two days. While I haven't gone back to school, it is something that I think about often, but since I didn't "get it right" the first time I tend to over think school now. Everything that I think I would want to do, doesn't justify the cost of going back to school, being in debt, and then not having anything to show.
ReplyDeleteI'm so right there with you. I feel like I'm still literally paying for some schooling mistakes made early in life and it's really hard to keep paying those student loans when I feel like I have nothing to show for. And now I'm going to be staying at home and I really feel like a jerk. But we know God is faithful and He always provides His grace for our trials! Praying for you!!!
ReplyDeleteAs of April 1, I am done at the hospital. You actually really inspired me, Britt, by your faith that God really can lead us to a new career path. I'm going to work at seriously supporting us financially as a freelance writer and hope it all works out for the best. Don't lose faith, you can do this. And you are not alone, God will provide!!
ReplyDeleteI went through all of my college years (and part of my Masters!) in Education. Then, I decided to stay home after teaching for a few short years. I am so glad that I am home, and I am so glad that I have the knowledge and experience that college gave me. But, I really would like that 70K back!!
ReplyDeleteI totally feel ya. I have a ton of student loans from my undergrad and masters that I already feel like I'm never gonna pay off, and now right as I'm finishing up the three-year licensure process I feel my heart tugging at me to stay home for a few years. I keep feeling so frivolous and wasteful until I remember that my master's is a part of who I am and I'm a better mom for having it, even if I don't use it professionally for a little while. Your experiences have also shaped you, for better or worse, and I know you were led down this path for a reason. Let go of the guilt and just accept it.
ReplyDeleteNew reader here, and it didn't take very many posts until I was a "follower" too! Bless your heart, full plate syndrome. It was hard being a stay at home Mom years ago, but nothing like it is now. I see my daughters struggle with home/work and family. Your priorities are straight, you will make it sweetie! Love your blog and your honesty... very good reading for anyone, esp. for NewlyWifed women going through this most difficult stage of life. Come to GrannyMountain in Arkansas for a visit, I blog mostly about family...Thursdays I do a post for the feed store...REALLY!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I got married when I was 20 and he was 22, he went back to school shortly after that and got his bachelor's degree the summer of 2010. He has been working in his field, but barely making what the two of us were making when we were both working, but thankfully he just got a promotion and I'm keeping my fingers crossed the raise will be substantial. It sucks because we've been married almost 11 years, and I still don't feel like we're "established" yet and still live paycheck to paycheck...which I despise more than anything!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a teacher, and it's such a rewarding career. You made the right choice. Good for you. You may feel like you need to sacrifice a bit now, but keep thinking of the future. You're almost there.
ReplyDeleteMy husband has been laid off for over a year. It's been tough, so I understand how you feel.
Everything happens for a reason and things always work out!
I have to remind myself that when you are listening to God and he's leading you down a path that everything will be OK. You might not be as financially secure as you'd like, but it's going to be the best path for you. God sent me to a school that cost me over 2K per credit. YES, I said CREDIT. And that's where I met my husband, he's a very expensive husband. And all that student loan debt is worth it, because it brought me to my husband.
ReplyDeleteAnd after December I will be paying off my student loans. And I'll work, and we'll continue to live off my husband's income and every cent I get will go to tithing, then childcare, then student loans. And it will be worth it, because I have an amazing husband who is perfect for me.
Whenever I get overwhelmed with the money situation I just take a deep breath and remind myself that everything will work out just as it's supposed to when you go and do what God wants.